Psychology for happy family

Family psychology is for happiness of family. Family institution is related relationship system, normally family is important source that gives close relationship, warmth, understanding, encouragement,  refuge when time of troubles. The beginning of having happy family has been firstly started with good communication within family. Obviously, family members should not compare their family to other families. In addition, family is the source of  increasing new members  in the society.

Family begins when two persons (man and woman) make decision to live together with love.  There are some factors for choosing spouse as following;

1. Close relationship
2. Most people get married with persons  who are near  them or close to them,  not long distance person.
3. Good looking is one of variables that attracts people to get to know each other and   become intimate and then fall in love.
4. Similar social background such as similar education, this will help them talk, understand and get along easier.
5. Similar idea, and attitude, this will make them happy to stay and spend time together.
6. Similar tastes and habbits such  as   liking in cooking, eating,  or hot temper, patient, talkative,  good listener
7. Appropriately age readiness; If you are less than 20 years old, your age is not ready for married life.
8. Similar occupation is another variable to draw people to fall in love, such as ones who are working together.

When people continue their married life, sometimes, they will realize that married life is an art that needs sensitivity,  caring, learning on how to sustain married life so that they can have  happy and successful marriage.  There are also other factors that affect to marred life ;

1. Learn to talk less, especially wife, who is captious, she should learn to have self control, more listen, and speak only important issues,  and overlook small weakness.
2. Respect one another, do not consider yourself as important as it should be.
3. Married life needs meeting each other halfway, especially when problem happens. Conflicts and arguments may be a part of married life , so  learning to  forgive,  take away your pride,  and accept each other is neccessary. Meeting half way does not mean that one of you makes mistakes. So, only smiling, understanding,  and forgiving  can solve the conflicts.
4. Finding time to spend together; Time is important nowaday for couples who have to work outside. Time together is also important. If they still have other activities that prevent them and their life partner from spending time together, then surely, this is not good sign to their  married relationship. The spouse have to  adjust  their time in order to spend together  such as  driving their spouse to the office, talking together while  being stuck in traffic, having lunch together, shopping second hand  stuffs together,  buying their favorite books or exercising together.
5. Having nickname that only the couple knows. Some men may be embarrant  to be called with nickname  by their spouse, but if they can do, it can reduce the tension of  married life conflicts  as well as support close  intimacy  of the married life.
6. Do not call your parents when you have conflict with your spouse. This is important for the married couple who already left parents to  stay with  spouse, to build their own  family. Importantly, couple needs to  help solve the problems, and conflicts before asking helps from other people.
7. Keeping good relationship with your parents and your spouse’s parents. This is also important for family life. It is positive feeling, especially, when  husband or wife  feel  relieved when he/ she knows that  his/ her role as husband/ wife is fully accepted to solve the family conflicts, not  the third person from outside family.
8. Giving your spouse gifts. This will make you recall the first time you fell in love. It is not necessary to give expensive gift. Perhap, once when you comes back from work and you are very tired from work, then you find that your spouse prepare a nice diner  with your favorite food for you. This is  another way to tell how your spouse loves you.
9. Having your humor. Family psychologists accept that humor is like glue to help your married life continue smoothly.
10. Faithfulness is important foundation for married life.
11. Being confident in your spouse.  Confidence will help ensure smooth married life. Your spouse will be conifident in you no matter where your are, she/ he will be confident that you will not tell a lie. If you come home late in the night without telling him/ her in advance, your spouse is still confident that because you have urgent meeting, that’s why  you come home late.
12. Being friend with your spouse. It is important to know how to talk with your life partner to make her/ him happy. Sharing your feeling with him/ her is also important. You have to understand and be sensitive to  how your spouse feels. So, having friendship is part of  making your married life  happily and sustainably.
13. Treating your spouse as important person by remember his/ her important day such as birthday, anniversary . This will show that you have cared for him/ her, and accept him/ her as important person in your life.
14. Respecting your spouse. But above all, you have respect yourself first, because your individuality can help your married life keep growing and  adjusting according to  period of time and envelopment changes. Normally, your spouse  has different personalities and characters from you, so, each one of you has to get to know each other, and learn to communicate  opinions and actions so that  the you and your spouse  will see the real self of each other clearly. The couple has to learn to forgive or accept each other , especially, some unpleasant characters and personalities.
15. Learning to compromise. It can make the couple feel they are united, for example, when they have conflicts , husband and wife, each of them accepst that they are part of causing the problems or conflicts. It will result of each one’s apology. This habit of compromise can be applied in every situations of  married life such as taking turn to  pick up their children,  to teach their children’s homeworks, or to do house works when their spouse is busy.
16. Learning to forgive
17. Learning to have self control. To be more patient will help the couple not do anything without careful pondering, ,otherwise this wrong doing may make you regret for the rest of your life.
18. Warn your spouse on mistake  he/she always makes, and then give him/ her  chance to correct his/ her mistake.
19.  Do not be self willed. You should learn to understand and be sensitive to your spouse. Be mature and reasonable.
20. Do not be jealous.
21. Do not carp , because your spouse will feel uncomfortable.

11 laws for wife; if you are wife;

1. Be faithful  and devoted to your husband.
2. Be a good and loving wife who always cooks good food for your husband.
3. Do not be garrulous wife, most husbands do not like talkative wives. Wife should learn to talk about proper thing in suitable time.
4. Learn to depend on yourself, most husbands admire their wife who can be independent such as driving to work by herself, doing things without being dependent with their husbands all the time.
5. Do not be stubbon, or too much meddle in your husband’s life, otherwise he will not stand it. Then he will not want to stay home, but find other places  where he feel  more comfortable to stay instead.
6. Be reasonable, and understand.
7. Improving yourself so that you will always look good.
8. Learn to have budget planning.
9.  Learn to consult your husband so that he can be part of your decision, most men  like to be accepted as the leadership. Even though, you are smart wife, it does not mean that you have to show that you are smarter than him especially, in some important issues such buying car, house, land, or house decoration.
10. Always honor your husband with his friends and relatives
11. When having conflicts in family, you should not hesitate to solve problems, and you should always encourage her family members to take heart so that you can keep your firm family.

6 laws for husband if your are husband;

1. Be faithful and devoted to your wife.
2. Honor your wife.
3. For husband, in your  family, your wife should be the most important.
4. You should find nice clothes and gives to your wife, especially, in  special occasions, according what Prasunthorn piphit said that there are  4 responsibilities of husband for his wife; being determined, love and faithful,  giving husband, know how to apply. Living married life is an art because when two persons share their  happy life together, it can give you power of life.
5. Standing side by side with your spouse to face life crisis together, these experiences can result in the psychological commitments aexnd then can bring your married life to your expected destination.
6. Learn to observe the teachings of Bhuddha, this will bring good things to your married life. To be happy married couple  means husband and wife learn to observe the teachings of Bhuddha. Family is the firm foundation of society. Therefore, let’s us build good and warm family by being  properly responsible to your role as husband and wife, this small thing  can become great power to bring peace to your society.

Credit : https://www.l3nr.org/posts/200241